Permission to Seek Help In Your Business
I wrote the journal entry you’re about to read back in 2017. At the time I was working to build other people’s businesses. I was working (a lot), facilitating, coaching, teaching, marketing, and filling workshops and trainings for other practitioners. I was also broke. Exactly 9-months after I wrote that journal entry, my book, “The Business of Coaching with Horses” was published and I launched a new path of service, my own business. Because I gave myself permission to use my own words!
Where are MY Words?
I have to get back to work. As soon as I finish this big ugly cry. (Sobs and moans like an animal trapped in a vice.) Where are MY words?
My job? Selling tickets to other people’s shows. They have the Words, the stories, the titles, and experiences to tantalize and entrance their audiences into craving their personal brand of tonic.
Where are MY words?
When others are asked, “what do you do?”, they enthusiastically gush a fountain of accomplishments and names and secret formulas that make them successful. And then it’s my turn and because ‘I am not that’, I have no words that orbit in the same solar system as my compatriots. I feel myself floating away, a bit pixelated, like a George Seurat painting, best viewed from a distance.
Where are MY words? The words that shape my name and place in the world. The words that give me form and meaning and relevance.
So many bold warriors, fearless and sharing their words. Permission or not.
I don’t have permission. My words might embarrass the loved ones who do not think or feel the way I do. I don’t have permission unless I make money. Having money gives me permission to express myself as I wish. Then I must make money.
I need to make money.
That’s the Damocles sword I feel hanging over my head every day, every hour. Even when I try to relax and go with the creative flow… the nagging voice, ‘you need to make some money’ is tapping at the back of my head.
That’s the Ego - front and center, ensuring that I don’t forget that so many others are doing what they came here to do, making a difference with their words, being successful with their programs and their books and podcasts and, and, and, I am not that.
That’s been my role, the ‘NEEDY’ one. The one that NEEDS to make money because she doesn’t have her own. The one that doesn’t have it ALL. (Not that I want it ALL).
What I want are MY words. The words that roll out of my pen straight from my heart. The words that tell me what I think. The words that make sense of a world that is sometimes hard to reconcile for a Libra seeking equilibrium, fairness, and beauty.
I want MY quiet words to be heard and felt in a noisy, flashy world of pomp and illusion.
I want PERMISSION to write, to figure it out, to say NO to all of the distractions of selling tickets to other people’s shows and the social interactions of nothingness with conversations cycling around workouts, carbohydrates, and #45.
I don’t want to sell tickets to other people’s shows anymore. I want my own show. A show without a flashy intro and over-exuberant promises. Just the TRUTH. Whatever that is today.
If you are where I was 3 years ago and need help reinventing yourself and claiming your place as a difference-maker in this wild and crazy arena, let’s talk. I didn’t do it by myself and you don’t have to either!
To Your Horse & Soul Success,
My mission is to empower and educate equine-inspired practitioners in the art of profitable program design and marketing. My dream-come-true is to see equine-assisted personal and professional development be recognized and celebrated for the unique transformational modality that it is, and to become as popular as yoga and Starbucks!